“Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids.”
– Tim Bedore
Quote of the Day
“Sometimes when you look into his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.”
– David Letterman
Quote of the Day
“If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised.”
– Dorothy Parker
Quote of the Day
“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
– Lily Tomlin
Quote of the Day
“A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.”
– H. L. Mencken
Quote of the Day
“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
– W. C. Fields
Quote of the Day
“After all, what is your hosts’ purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.”
– P. J. O’Rourke
Quote of the Day
“Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.”
– Mike Royko
Quote of the Day
“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.”
– H. L. Mencken
Quote of the Day
“It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm’.”
– Sam Levenson
