“We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.”
– Dave Barry
Quote of the Day
“Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
– Douglas Adams
Quote of the Day
“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”
– Jack Benny
Quote of the Day
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
– George Carlin
Quote of the Day
“The Baptists’ basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he’ll come around to your way of thinking. It’s a ritual known as ‘Bobbing for Baptists’.”
– A. Whitney Brown
Quote of the Day
“It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.”
– H. L. Mencken
Quote of the Day
“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.”
– H. L. Mencken
Quote of the Day
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”
– Mitch Hedberg
Quote of the Day
“The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they’ve been indicted.”
– Kin Hubbard
Quote of the Day
“When you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how drunk you get.”
– Matt Groening
